Wobbly ceiling fans
Glaucoma/eye pressure test machines
Escalators
Elevators that go too fast
Elevators that go too slow
New people
My shadow
Mirrors in the dark
Cockroaches
Ballons because they might pop
Garage doors
Teletubbies, the purple one
Automatic car washes
Photos that were taken when people first started taking photos
AI
Pitbulls, but the singer > the dog
Quicksand
The sound of someone eating, anyone
Paula Deen
Plantation-style weddings
UFOs
That monster that gets you if you wash your face
Saliva or sputum
Public bathrooms
Retro kitchens
Hair-clogged drains
******************************************************************************************************
Things I’m Afraid Of (The Poem)
Escalators, elevators
The ones that go slowly
AND the ones that move too fast
Tonometers, air-firing, eye-pressure-measuring devils
Inflated balloons, such childish bombs
that just WANNA HAVE A BLAST!
Public bathrooms and retro kitchens
Bathrooms that are inside kitchens, too
Those two just don’t go together
“Here’s some Spaghetti Bolognese topped with poo!”
Paula Deen, plantation-style weddings
Pitbull(s), the singer … sometimes the dogs, too
Let’s also throw in Rihanna
Her … erm … singing turns my stomach, which is exactly what brings me to …
The next category: body fluids that have exited the body
Vomit, saliva and liquid s%#t
I also fear the sound of people eating
As chyle is churned and spun with spit
That monster that gets you
If you wash your face. Oh, also mirrors in the dark
Quicksand is a high contender
As are old photos, such as The View from the Window at Le Gras
Automatic car washes are weird
It’s fake water falling from a metal sky
Like the aliens are truly ‘raining’ over us
With scary UFOs and AI
I’d like to say I’m claustrophobic
But it simply isn’t true
It’s the tiny-big, harmless things that get me
Like that one purple Teletubby
And the cockroach I met when I was two.
THE ROUGH DRAFT 